Games you can Play in Japan: You are the Store DetectiveBack to the Japan Living Section by Kevin Burns I love games, and here is one game you can play in Japan!I love this game! I call it: "You are the Store Detective." It is one of my all time favorites. I often playit on a rainy day, or after I am bored with playingother games, like: Teach Students to Talk Wrong.--More on that one later. Here`s what you do: You go into a store, say a Toys r` Us, they are everywhere in Japan;or another large store--say a supermarket or a department store.It shouldn`t be a store where they know you. You need to not be a regular customer there, and I will go into that in a Hokkaido minute. So go to a store that is far from your home. You want to attract as much attention as possible.I am tall and white so I attract attention everywhere in Japan!!!! If you are African or of African decent,even better!
Store detectives in Japan, absolutely love visibleminorities--especially large men. We are really popular! It is sad, in this day an age, but store detectives in Japan,are prejudiced against Japanese customers. Japanese customers have to work very hard indeed,to get any attention at all, in fact, from store clerksor store detectives. Sometimes yelling and screaming works, stomping your feetand jumping up and down, or talking to yourself.I do this all the time. I did this at my last job. That was five years ago. BTW, if you know of anyjob openings let me know at: greatpowers@yahoo.comI could use the work. Foreign women I think are at a disadvantage here.But if you follow the handy tips below, I think youtoo can attract your favourite store detective. Indeed, experts at this game have noted, that you can get theattention of your favourite store detective by wearing certainkinds of clothing: Tight fitting clothes with no pockets, are not good forattracting him. You must wear loose fittingclothes, with huge pockets. Preferably a very longcoat with huge visible pockets on the outside of the coat. I often wear my long Hillfiger coat which I use for sports. It is huge and you just know your averageto above average store detective is just thinking: "Wow that dude could pack away a lot ofstuff in those pockets." If you can have things hanging out of it that look like items from the store you are going into, all the better! If it is a Toys r` Us, I often have a Thomas the tank enginetrain hanging out of my left pocket. I don`tmean just the engine, I mean a whole train--atleast five cars long so it hangs down the side of the coat,and looks kind of like I opened up a box at the backof the store, put the train together surreptitiously,and hung it in my pocket. This is great! It always gets them going! That`s what you want, you want the store detectivethinking about you.You want to rattle him and get their attention.You want him to make himself obvious. So you are probably getting the idea now, your goal is to attract the storedetective. It shouldn`t be a store clerk. Anyone can do that by jumping upand down and shouting. I do it all the time as mentioned.My boss used to mention it. I miss him. He was a nice guy. Then, your goal is to attract the store detective:that is the undercover person posing as a customer.It could be that husky guy right next to you now whojust suddenly showed up in your aisle,and just happened to need to lookat something right next to,or right in front of you. Another technique store detectives love to use,is the sweep. They often use this one after they havestood next to you. They leave and about 2 minuteslater they come flying back down the same aisle,walking very quickly and go past you.All the while, they try to watch you in a subtle way. One thing to note, you do need to be a littlecareful out there, as the guywho you think is the store detective,may just turn out to be gayor crazy,or God forbid, Crazy and Gay!!!!!! Women too, you have to be careful thatthat guy next to you, doesn`t just think you aresoooo hot! So it is best not to wear sexy clothing, as alluded to above. Goal of the Game: You are to seek out the store detective andwhen you think you have found him, you become the storedetective, and follow him around the store. I did this at a store in Kanagawa and it was so funny!He didn`t know what to do! ...And neither did my wife! If you guess wrong, and the person turns out to bea customer or is Gay, or Crazy; or Crazy and Gay,all of these results are -50 points. You lose! The next person goes into the store to try. The winner who correctly guesses who the storedetective is and follows him around the storecausing annoyance wins the game and gets100 points. Who knows you may even get a job offer if youare good! Some store detectives and players have even ended up getting married! I get cards all thetime thanking me and saying, I got hitchedwhile playing your game man! It makes me smile all over.... I think this game is going to be a BIG, BIG hit,and you can tell people that you know me eh! "You Can Be the Store Detective!" by Kevin Burns Disclaimer: If the store detective has a gun, best to becareful with this game!!!! More humor about life in Japan
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