Japan Humor: What if Mom was right!? What if my students REALLY are Zombies?
Japan Humor, or just this side of sanity...just....
by Kevin Burns (not the sexy MMA guy nor that film guy, the Japan guy) THE Japan Guy!
Sometimes when my students are tired or unmotivated I worry!
What if they really aren`t human? Maybe they have actually become zombies!
What if they are no longer of the human realm but have really become the undead! Sometimes they act so dead I really just can`t fathom them.
I know.....you are thinking Kevin has watched too many movies like Dawn of the Dead, Shawn of the Dead or others, (or taught too many junior high or university English classes), but just humor me for a moment. If your students really are the unDead you should follow this helpful advice below.
It could well have been put out by an English teacher at a junior high school or university in Japan. Actually I can`t remember where I got this from. Someone sent it to me.
Thought I might need it I guess.
*Remember if you suspect that your students are zombies....don`t I repeat don`t turn your back on them. And if you hear a noise upstairs, don`t go upstairs....
Yes I know they do it in the movies, but if you do, you know that sooner or later someone is going to eat your brain, and that somebody might have been someone you just taught adverbs to.
Sure enough you will forget all the lessons you learned from cheesy horror movies and just turn your back for a moment and like the BEST B Movie actor you are, sooner or later they grab you and start eating your hippocampus. God I hate that!
Japan Humor ZOMBIE SAFETY TIP:
Remember to remove their head or destroy their brain.
One common problem in Japan is that the textbooks don`t reflect the real English that students need to speak. It is often too polite, or too wordy, it isn`t the English we actually use in REAL WORLD situations. Take Charleton Heston for example,what if your students are being chased by a bunch of talking apes (while on holiday) in Guam or somewhere, what should they say?
This isn`t covered in my textbooks. I`ve checked and I can`t find any section on speaking with apes. Here is some advice straight from Charleton Heston: